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10 Lessons My Journey To Conception Taught Me

I have been dreaming about writing this blog post. A blog post that has taken just short of 3 years to come to fruition. It has been a long, hard journey, but we finally got there. I wanted to share my story to hopefully inspire others who may be on similar journeys.

Apart from watching my dad suffer and eventually pass away from a dreadful illness, the journey of trying to conceive has certainly been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I know that could come across as ridiculous to some, but when you are faced with potentially not being able to have a family (should you want one), the thoughts haunt you daily. The guilt, the anger and the bitterness consume hours of your day and often send you into a very dark place. I won’t bore you with the details of exactly what we did to finally get here because we did hundreds of things. I even bathed in mud that a patient of mine brought me, convinced it would work for me!

After years of searching, I finally admitted to myself that I had emotional stuff I needed to work on. I tell my clients daily, that weight or disease is often a manifestation of an emotional issue, and it was time for me to take my own advice.

I knew that I had to face 2 big emotional issues attached to certain energies in my life that I had been ignoring for years – both were firmly rooted in fear. It was not an easy admission to make, and I did reach out and ask for help. I spent hour’s journaling, meditating, praying, doing yoga, talking to my therapist/coach, visualizing, crying, doing headstands (those of your trying will know what I mean☺) – oh this list goes on. I came to a few realisations that I documented a few months before we conceived (I took these from my journal 24/10/2016), and I hope that at least one resonates with someone out there.

Here goes…

10 lessons my journey to conception taught me:

1. Soul, spirit, God, the universe, or whomever or whatever you believe in, work differently to us. Their idea of timing cannot be calculated on a watch or calendar.

2. Belief and hope are really all that we have. Don’t let either go – even when you want to.

3. Fear is where the lessons lie. If you don’t work on your fear, you won’t more forward (towards your baby, or much in life really).

4. Pride and status get you nowhere. No one ever thinks it will happen to them. Be real and never say never (to anything).

5. This journey changes you deep down to your core. You are not the same person after this road. You are wounded, but stronger. You are also wiser and probably more capable of being the best parent you can be.

6. Don’t feel ashamed about your path. If anything, feel privileged that your child's soul has such high standards for you. It expects you to grow and struggle and become the best version of yourself, before it graces you with its human form.

7. You will feel jealousy, anger and resentment along the way. This is 100% normal but don’t forget to be happy for others (even if you have to fake it, you never know what someone else has gone through). Keep going back to the notion that ‘Everything is always changing’, and that you WILL get your baby, just in the universal time zone not yours.

8. Try and constantly think about ‘What you want’, not 'What you don’t have'. Ask the universe daily to support you in getting your baby. Don’t focus on the emptiness constantly. Visualize your child, your nursery, your pregnant belly, your husband's smile. Remind yourself that there is a power called the Power of Attraction.

9. Think about your life from the perspective of your deathbed. The biggest challenges overcome will be the ones worth remembering.

10. Believe that your baby is coming. Believe this with every cell of your being, and then just wait.

And so I am now 22 weeks pregnant with the little soul that has chosen us to be his/her parents. And I feel lighter, although I am heavier ;) Lighter thanks to letting go of some of those emotional ropes that were tied to inner world. This is however a constant work in progress!

To those of you out there trying to conceive, I know the pain you have in your hearts, the hope you hold over ovulation, the dread you carry when you come on, the rage you feel when that stick says negative.

I get you.

To those of you who have wanted to punch a person in the face who says, just relax your baby will come when its meant to, or just forget about it and it will happen.

I get you.

To those of you who feel like no one understands you. They don’t understand how sad you feel and they always say the wrong things and never just let you cry or be sad.

I get you.

And to those of you who have to sit and listen to what feels like everyone around you falling pregnant, having gone off the pill last month.

I get you.

I hope this blog inspires you to perhaps take a new approach on your journey. Work on your inside world, and then wait. Your baby is coming.

Love and light to all your beautiful souls

Love me and my little teacher

18 THOUGHTS ON “10 Lessons My Journey To Conception Taught Me”

by lisma volanie

TODAY I feel so grateful to read your story thanx so much for the hope and in couragement

by Jessica Wall

Thank you for your post Kels.
So honest and all very very true.
God bless you on your journey to being a mom.
Lots of love
xxx

by Cara

I loved this article. You had me in tears, and that sad and disappointed place is where I am right now. The road is a long one but I am faithful and cannot wait to be a Mom. Just a bit wounded at the moment. Your story gives me hope and I am so happy for you both! Thank you for sharing and not being ashamed of your journey, it helps us do the same <3

by Amy

Thank you! Your words just spoke to my soul. I sit here with tears in my eyes as I write to you. You nailed every feeling I have. All of my sadness and desperation. You understand the loneliness and isolation that I feel. Thank you for taking the time to share and open up to the world. I am truly happy for you and wish you the best in your next journey as a parent.

by Taryn May

Thank you for your beautiful expression of a tough journey.
Mine has just begun (9 months off the pill and 6months consciously ‘trying’) and having waiting for my husband for many years (8 to be exact) I have a horrible feeling that my waiting journey is about to start all over again… (if I’m honest)
I’m not sure if I’m in denial and don’t even want to think of what is ahead…. the pain was intense then, I’m just trusting and praying it won’t be the same in trusting for a little person.

Anyway, I’m woffling. Thank you for your obedience in sharing your joy! I love it!

by Gill Mellon

Dear Kelly
You touched my heart today. How courageous and inspiring.
I’m quite sure that your blog will help many.
I wish you and your family so much joy and love and many blessings as you journey together.
Lots of love Gill

by Amelda Gouws

I have 2 beautiful sons but I cried like a baby reading your blog. You touch my heart and I believe you will have so much love and joy to give to that little person you are expecting. My you be blessed 7 fold.

by Amelda Gouws

I have 2 beautiful sons but I cried like a baby reading your blog. You touch my heart and I believe you will have so much love and joy to give to that little person you are expecting. My you be blessed 7 fold.

by Cynthia Harley

Dear Kelly,

Congradulations to you and Allan. This special little soul has chosen two of the most amazing people to be its parents.
I am posting your blog as i feel that it will help someone out there. We look forward to your preggie journey with you. Lots of love. ( Dianes mom and granny to the most adorable twins) Cynthia.

by Aunt Shalamar & Uncle Den

We loved reading your blog. Really beautiful and touching words. And to a large extent we understand what you have been through. Your little soul is going to be very priviledged to have you both as his/her Mom and Dad.
Lots of love to you both. xxx

by Jodi Lord

How inspiring :-)

Thank you!!!

by Bianca

I really needed to read this right now… Thank you so much

by SueKirkwood

So touching -SO happy for you

by Kerry Moir Venter

Lovely article Kelly.
We also went through quite a journey and my little boy is 2 months old now. What is truley amazing is that once your baby is born the love that you feel will melt away all that hurt and darkness (almost) completely!

by Rolene

Thank you for this ?After long struggle we are also blessed with a little soul ??

by Donnet

True, very true. Congrats to u to Alan… All the best

by Claire Pitt

So excited to hear your news!!! We really must catch up sometime. Much love cp

by Lisa

So so beautifully written. The inner work you’re talking about is so important (but so difficult) and can be applied to other struggles in our lives. Thank you for putting it so simply! Congratulations on your baby.. Welcome to the most incredible love story of your life x